Popping in to share my thoughts on Mother’s Day as this holiday always makes me thoughtful to the point where I can’t not write.
For the past few days, I have been pondering what to do for Mother’s Day, aside from the usual, making sure the mother-in-law gets her cards and gifts and tossing hints to the youngest members of the family that I desire a hand-made craft, of some sort.
I’ve been pondering Mother’s Days, of the past, before my FLR (female-led relationship) and how it seemed like it was the only day that I could guarantee that my spouse would actually do something out of the ordinary, like cook or take care of the children. I remember how I used to have to instruct said spouse that he’d better not dare buy me any kind of appliance or tool, that any gift should be thoughtful and memorable, something to cherish for many Mother’s Days in the future.
On this date, I expect to find, on Facebook, or other social media, many women bragging that their partner’s did something like served them breakfast in bed, took the children for the afternoon so they could get some rest, or cleaned the whole house or made an exceptional dinner, in observance of this special day. Since many of them live in patriarchal-styled marriages, this is to be expected. Having a man do something extraordinary for them, every once in a while, I guess, should be celebrated, no matter how little, it actually happens (and I often hear, in my daily life, the complaints of wives/mothers who are frustrated that their partners don’t do more and more often, though, there are some who are happy with what they consider a 50/50 split of their home life duties and tasks).
I’m over here thinking to myself (or out loud, to My Pet), how typical Mother’s Day will be to our every day life, with the exception of a few extra goodies to brighten my day. He’ll wake me up with a hot cup of coffee, prepare my breakfast, draw my bath, prepare my lunch (before he goes to work), come home from work, run household errands, do the household cleaning and laundry and see to it that the children do their chores and are well-behaved and not under-foot, make dinner, and tidy up the house before bed. A regular Sunday (and most times, daily) series of events. No special occasion required.
Of course, one main difference is that since I control all funds that come to the household, I had to give him an allowance so that he could purchase a gift for me and since we are on a budget, I told him exactly what to get me and from where. I am not a fan of his surprises, as he’s keen to do for me what he would like, not what I would like, but, I did let him pick, within set parameters, something that he would like for me to have (Spoilers: I asked for some type of vanilla body spray, but there are dozens of those types of perfumes out there). Since I don’t know yet, what he’s gotten me, I will be just as surprised as if he had chosen the gift all by himself.
I don’t miss those old Mother’s Day observances. They were always fraught with financial distress because my partner would always go overboard, as if it were a sign of guilt (sorry for not helping out more around the house, sorry for not helping out with our children more, sorry for blowing the household monies on some other frivolous item that we couldn’t afford that only served to please myself, sorry for not being more thoughtful about what hard work it is to be a mother). I can relate to how excited some mothers will be, today. Until we started practicing FLR, it was always a day to look forward to, out of the other 364, when my spouse would actually do something, extra special, to show how much he appreciated me being a mother to his children, rather than taking me for granted.
Nowadays, My Pet works very hard to see to it that I my needs are met on a daily basis, and can often be seen going out of his way to make sure that I am happy, even if it involves his own discomfort.
I do not pity others whose spouses are not so conscientious, every day. Such is a life that they freely chose and many are content, on some level, with that decision. I don’t envy them either, I like being in charge of my household. I must admit, though, that I do get a kick out of stating, whenever possible, that in our home, every day is Mother’s Day.