Slow Torture


I have decided, in light of the encroaching holiday season, that every time that I am forced to sit through more than one verse of a single Christmas song, between now and the day after Thanksgiving, My Pet will get 10 lashes from the leather crop. If it’s a song heard, more than once, he’ll get 15 lashes per incident.

I’m as picky about my holidays, as I am about my home. You don’t blend holidays. It’s like peas touching mashed potatoes. It’s sacrilege. I want to observe Thanksgiving for its own sake, not as the intro to Christmas. I’m quoting him, when I say, “Let’s just observe one holiday at a time.”

To that end, it’s now his responsibility to not allow Christmas to encroach on my Thanksgiving preparations. He hates the lash, so I will likely be free of the slow torture of creeping holiday music between now and Black Friday.


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